The nightmares Begins :(

Hey peeps :) .. So , sorry to say that I didn't update my blog often :) .. Anyway , Is already April :) .. If you guys don't know .. This month of the year is my Birthday :) .. But surprised to say that I hate this month the most .. It sucks like no one else :( .. All I want to say to this month is goodbye :( .. I don't even want to say Hello to it :( .. Cause I am really scared of this month ... Every year since I go into Tp ... April to me is so scary ... I am really tired to act happy or even crazy ... to let people know that I am happy but actually I am NOT !! ... Anyway , The nightmares begins Now ... all I want to know is when will it be Stop :(

Do you know why am I scared of April ... Okay , just keep it short .. Is because I will be crying for just some stupid or even useless people for just something stupid ... I can still remember How I go through all my pain myself ... how I want you to forgive me but on the same time you  hurt me like asdfghjkl ... Do you remember ??? ... how stupid I am to ask you to forgive ... thinking back all the stupid thing I do ... I just feel that YSZ is so stupid asdfghjkl ... But please remember this Ysz is already dead .. The New YSZ is here

Please do remember that you already put a knife deeply in my heart ... and you straight away put it out .. This is how it hurts ... This is how I recover by myself ... So please don't ever give me any hope ... cause it will just be disappointment for you or even Me ... Peeps please don't tell me is already long time ago .. to me !! ... How long it is ... the hole in my heart is still there .. And it always tell  me ... How people hurt me again & again ... How many tears I fall everyday like asdfghjkl :( 

 I used so much time just to plan your birthday for you .... Everyone think that I am stupid like asdfghjkl ... How many effort I put in it ... All I want is see you smile on that time ... and just to say thank you from your heart ...But All you gave me is your temper , tears & even letting you to scold me ... Isn't me stupid ??? ... From that day onwards .. I tell myself ... You is you .. me is me ...

Folding 2 bottle of stars for you ... Every stars I made it my own ... You was like .. Oh , thanks .. You hurt me how much .. I can't really count ...  But all that I know I make the people beside me sad ... Sorry yeah , it will not happened again :) .. I promise :) ...

Can I be like all the drama people ... When they want to go out from all this stress ... just go to have a holidays or even go to other country .. to breath some fresh Air ... I don't know & I don't even want to know ... All I want is do well in my PMR !! 

I pray to God everyday ... To have a New & Wonderful life for me to continue to walk in my Life ... All I want is being happy like asdfghjkl .. And be strong ... And have a smile that can kills everyone :) .. And stop doing all the things that is stupid ... Now is not I want to give up you anot ... and is Not I Must give up you anot .. is I give up you already ...

Hairband girl ... Thanks you so much for your help :) .. I miss you like asdfghjkl ... All I want for now is you ... You are the best ... Thanks for all the advise you gave me :) 

Top !!! .. Wow , Fantastic Baby :)